A grandmother does NOT use Bonnie Bell kiwi-watermelon lipgloss.
A grandmother bakes cookies from scratch.A grandmother does NOT microwave "grilled" cheese.
A grandmother wears face cream to bed.
A grandmother does NOT facebook in bed at 2 a.m. from her laptop.
A grandmother wears a floral housecoat.
A grandmother does NOT wear a black bra.
A grandmother sends $10 checks for your birthday.
A grandmother does NOT send unlimited text messages.
A grandmother has short silvery-gray hair.
A grandmother does NOT threaten to kill you for calling her "Granny".
A grandmother listens to birds sing outside her window.
A grandmother does NOT listen to Jason Mraz on her 32g iPod touch.
A grandmother has occasional hot flashes.
A grandmother does NOT still ovulate.
A grandmother is nice and sweet.
A grandmother is NOT me.
. . . at least that's what I thought until today.
