July 30, 2008

junk in the trunk

222 hours.

I am pulling my hair out, which might be a good thing as I have already paid a hairdresser $35 for practice wedding hair - once to make me look like Shirley Temple and once like Carol Brady, only more "mullety". Either option is not good, so bald may be the answer I'm looking for. Works for my friend, Mr. Nagel. Suggestions anyone?

My house is a wreck. Every single minute of every day for the rest of this week is booked. My office looks like a hurricane in a florist shop. My cell phone battery is losing its "umph" and is starting to die on me halfway through my days. I have the same 3 Netflix movies I have had since April. I don't think we have been home one single night all summer, to which my husband will attest!

Sushi is wonderful, but birthday sushi is especially wonderful. We celebrated with the Darling's last night and laughed a bit. After Sushi we hit Sam's (isn't that where all significant birthday celebrations conclude?) and as we were leaving with the cart full of paper towels, dog food, etc., and heading toward Miss Donna, the very efficient "check your receipt" lady at the exit door, I told Kevin to go ahead to the car and see if there was junk in my trunk. No sooner had I spoken the phrase than I regretted this badly chosen, howevermuch appropriate, wording. The guys laughed entirely too much.

My daughter is sending me soft porn hoping I will purchase something suitably sexy, not slutty for her personal shower from the examples she is sending via email. Sort of a "What to Wear, What Not to Wear" kind of thing!

Oh, and one more thing. I cooked dinner one night last week at the Darling's house. There were 2 leftover strips of steak I didn't use, so I stuck them, still rare, in a baggie in their fridge. SEVERAL nights ago I grabbed them out of their fridge to take home to cook for the cowboy. I folded the baggie over and stuck the rare meat in my purse. And forgot about it. I found it today.

I love my life.


Sandy said...


I bet Jane would let you borrow a wig :-)

~ Stephanie. said...

OOOOHHHH - she does have that cool red one!!! Love the suggestion!

Sara said...

Oh my....Mike and I both laughed a lot at this. I feel the same. 222 hours...then I can sleep!

Kacey Leigh said...


I've been done reading this for about four minutes now, and I'm still laughing outloud.

You weren't supposed to tell people about the "soft porn", as you put it. I hate that you blog about EVERYTHING...although I do hope you buy me something VERY non-slutty. It still worries me.

Just a side note, if we buy any food for the reception next week, please don't leave it in your purse. Melty chocolate is NOT fun.

Still, I think your regular hair is beautiful. There's no reason to do anything special to it. For goodness sake, be a non-traditionalist like me!!!!

E.T.'s Mom said...


I have to say I'm glad your house is a wreck. Makes me feel better. I feel like I clean in every spare moment and still have a wreck. At least we're in this together.

I'm with Kacey...why stress over "wedding hair" when you don't have to? You'll be beautiful, the bride will be gorgeous and the evening will be wonderfully memorable!

~ Stephanie. said...

You are all my favorite people!
Love you!

Ashlea Smiley said...

The steak in purse reminds me of this one time my mom put a whole burger in her purse because I haddn't eaten it. Then we went to Wal-Mart and the cashere gave my mom this funny look when mom pulled out her wallet and there was the burger.

~ Stephanie. said...

Does that make your mom the "Burgler"???