September 22, 2008

automotive narcolepsy

Officially I have driven over 1700 miles in the past 5 days. I like road trips - always have . . . of course, that's always been within the framework of traveling with Mom or Kacey. They talk. I like to talk. Especially on road trips. Frequently we have taken "books on cd" with us when we travel . . . we have yet to ever listen to one. We just gab. Or sing. Or play music/movie trivia games. It has generally been entertaining, quality family time.

This trip, however, was with Kevin. Just Kevin. Now Kevin likes to talk. And sing. At least when we drive around at home. But what I discovered about my son last Thursday is now being researched by the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta and may be documented in the January issue of the American Medical Association's Journal. My son has a disease of which I was heretofore unaware: I have named it "Automotive Narcolepsy". The engine starts, his brain stops. He slept. And when I say slept, I mean instantaneously and continuously. From Nashville to Fort Worth, as though comatose from an OD of Benadryl. For 13 hours he woke only to pump gas, eat sushi, and make a few snide comments about his mother.
This makes driving a very lonely business indeed. And I do not like lonely. I kept myself busy by the following means:
7:45 - 8:30 Texted both Sara and Mike who dutifully entertained me
8:30 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
8:31 - Listened to a great mix cd with everything from RocketSummer, Silver Chair & Hoobestank to Eric Clapton, Elton John & James Taylor to Jack Johnson, John Mayer & K.T. Tunstall.
9:30 - Stopped in Jackson for gas and a Starbucks' Cranberry Orange Scone and Pumpkin Spice Latte.
10:00 - Speed conversation with Kevin (about the fact that he was born in Jackson) while he consumed his Starbucks.
10:03 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping.
10:04 - Chewed all of my cuticles off, until my fingers were pink and tender. Gross.
11:00 - Listened to the mix cd again, this time taking great delight in poking Kevin every time a new song came on to ask, "Who's this?" "Who's this?" "Who's this?"
11:59 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
Noon - Misprogrammed the GPS on purpose just to hear Karen, the Austrailian navigational voice, tell me to take every exit north of I-40, which, of course, I did not really want to do. Then, each time I did not make her recommended exit she would say, "REcalculating!" At one point I'm pretty sure she cursed at me.
1:30 - Carried Kevin over my shoulder into Sakuro Sushi in Little Rock. Set him in a high chair and force-fed him a Sherwood roll with chopsticks.
2:30 - Made Kevin play music trivia with me until "Let It Be" came on the radio and I asked him which Beatle sang "Let it Be" and he replied, "George Hanson". My 20-minute lecture on John, Paul, Ringo and George HARRISON put him back to sleep. (Oh, and it's Paul who sings Let It Be.)
3:00 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
3:01 - Took a text poll to find out what Baskin-Robbins flavors all my people like. Kacey is a Rainbow Sherbert girl, Nathan prefers Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Lindsay loves Raspberry Cheesecake, Mikey likes Strawberry (snooze) and Sara doesn't know. I, myself, am a Peanut Butter Chocolate fan.
3:30 - Learned that Moore's and Bradley House were burning and that McKayla's homecoming dress was lost in the fire. Prayed for those involved and felt bad for McKayla since homecoming was the next night.
4:00 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
4:01 - Tried to remember the name of the sushi place, which was Sakuro, which reminded me of Sudoku. Attempt to work a Sudoku in my head, but when I try to work with numbers my eyes always drift up and to the left, making for unsafe driving conditions.
4:30 - Tried to wake Kevin by blowing on him through a straw. He mumbled something that sounded like "jam q-tips up your nose . . ."
5:00 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
5:01 - Talked to Greg on the cell, wrote down his stall number, horse number, competition order, etc.
5:30 - Tried to learn all the words on Jack Johnson's "Sleep Through the Static" cd
6:30 - Took picture of Kevin sleeping
6:31 - Made faces at a small child in the car in front of me
7:00 - Explained the "Facts of Life" IN DETAIL to Kevin while he was sleeping. Concluded by singing the theme song from the "Facts of Life" tv show really loudly until Kevin woke up.
8:00 - Arrived at the "Saddle Boy" competition to find Greg's horse trailer/camper on a gravel parking lot about 6 blocks from the nearest building, and by extension, the nearest bathroom as well.
9:30 - Checked into hotel. Thanked God, and Priceline, for the Country Inn and Suites.
10:30 - Reclined comfortably in my own queen-size bed and asked Kevin what he wanted to watch on tv, but he was already asleep.


OUR FAMILY... said...

You know, my kids seem to have that too. Along with electronically induced auditory sensory overload.

NinjaPrincess said...

Glad you had an...interesting drive! If nothing else, the pictures on your blog should be revenge enough for Kevin's lack of conversation :) Now -- repeat after me: "I will not text while driving. I will not text while driving..." :)

MichaelPolutta said...

I just want you to know that I really enjoy your blog.

janjanmom said...

Alas, I am plagued with the same sleeping disease. Erik enjoys listening to music I would not approve of with the children while I sleep. Books on CD make him sleepy.