the mom who cried wolf

My son honked at an old lady today, and I was proud. Seriously. He had already asked me not to make him drive on this particular road because of the ridiculous traffic, but I felt he was ready for it and needed the experience. I love being right.

Speaking of right, he was turning that direction. “She” was across from him and turning left. She did not have her wheels turned, nor did she have her blinker on. The light turned green. Kevin turned right into the right lane. The blue-haired lady turned left . . . into the right lane. Kevin stopped hard and fast, honked loud and long, and saved his mommy’s life. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he definitely avoided a nasty little accident. Yea, Kevie-poo!

So after this and his drum lesson (where his instructor had a killer-headache and wasn’t exactly in a good mood), we decided Happy Hour at Sonic was just what he needed. We placed our order for two large vanilla cokes with no ice, then Kevin said, “I’m gonna rest my head on the steering wheel. Tell me when she comes out.”

So, being the good mother that I am, I waited 3 seconds and said, “Here she is.” Which she was not. He looked up and then growled at me.

He put his head back down. I waited another 6 or 8 seconds and said, “Kev.” (Implying her impending arrival with the aforementioned drinks.) He looked up, realized he’d been duped again and replied, “Mother!”

Again, down with his little head. About 12 seconds later I said, “HERE we go!” which again prompted him to lift his head and then look at me with disdain. “Just for that,” he stated, “I am freezing you out!” Then he rolled down my window and turned on the air conditioner. Mind you, it was 37 degrees outside.

After a little begging and pleading and a lot of wrestling and laughing, he rolled up my window, turned off the a/c and put his head back down on the steering wheel. He warned me not to do it again and then mumbled something about "ending me with his wrath".

“Kev,” I said. He did NOT look up. “Seriously, honey.” So, he looked up. Seeing no Sonic employee, he declared his intense displeasure for my existence, and declared he wished he had not previously saved my life from the blue-haired lady.

“BUT I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!” I proclaimed.

“Now we’re even,” he stated flatly.

“EVEN?” I proceeded to describe 10 hours of labor and the size of a 7-pound baby’s head, which caused him to further regret my existence.

I love being a mom.