lifestyles of the (not yet) rich and famous

If I ever become famous, or infamous, and Trivial Pursuit once again becomes all the rage, you will need to know the following:

Whenever I enter a place that gives you the choice of going to either the right or the left - places like museums, or concert halls, or shopping malls (hey, that rhymes!), I will always go to the left. Always.

Speaking of left, I have real issues with distinguishing left from right. It's not like I don't KNOW the difference, I just almost ALWAYS manage to call out the wrong word while pointing the right direction (or the left direction, whichever is appropriate!) Drives the men in my life batty, 'cause, for some reason, this is the one time they actually do what I say, despite my flailing arms wildly indicating the opposite direction.

I have a frighteningly accurate internal clock. I almost always know what time it is to within a couple of minutes. I also have a self-alarm clock that wakes me just a couple of minutes before my phone alarm beeps, which would be understandable if I got up at the same time every day, but I don't. Go figure.

I order chewing gum and hairspray online. Why? Because apparently I have weird taste and nobody seems to carry the ones I like in their stores, that's why. Do you know anybody else who orders Dentyne Ice Chocoblast or White Rain Pearberry hairspray by the carton? Yeah, me neither.

I read magazines and catalogs back to front. Don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with always going to the left, or not being able to distinguish left from right. Clearly, one of my many genius flaws.