hypMOtized

My son and my husband share one trait: a smart mouth. Other than that, there's just not much.

The cowboy is all about the outdoors. Cows, horses, and hay make him happy. He loves the smell of manure in the morning. He likes westerns and Will Ferrell movies, chainsaws and International Harvesters, bluegrass and Linda Ronstadt. And the only thing I've ever seen him read is a map.

The man-child, on the other hand, wants to go urban. The only animals he has ever owned are cats and a turtle. He likes baseball, ultimate frisbee, xbox, and good movies; guitars, drums and iPods; jazz and Jason Mraz. And he's almost always in the middle of a good novel.

All that is to say this: Kevin has been volunteering for the last two weeks at a camp in Missouri for kids with special needs. It's pretty outdoorsy, as most camps are. Now that he is home, it is time to get him registered for school.

We were discussing all this yesterday, when I mentioned that we needed to go out to the community college and register him for a public speaking course, since his high school does not offer one. (Seriously!?) His dad, however, thinks he would greater benefit from an agriculture class. Kevin said he would just give a speech ABOUT agriculture in his oral communication class. His father did not seem satisfied. I suggested Kevin could then go out to the barn and give his ag speech to the horses and cows. "That should satisfy you both," I said. "Not quite," was his dad's response.

"Oh! Hey Dad!" Kevin exclaimed, "You would be proud of me! I hypnotized a chicken at camp this week!"

"WHY WOULD I BE PROUD OF THAT?" his father queried.

"I was doing something with farm animals. I thought that would make you proud," the boy responded.

"Sheep molesters do things with farm animals too . . . do you think THAT would make me proud!?"

Somebody asked me recently how much of my blog is true. The answer is: all of it. You can't make up stuff like this.