The other day I instinctively threw half a cup of coffee away in my office . . . only for it to hit the floor and splatter everywhere because somebody moved my trash can and I had failed to notice.
The other day I threw two nylon jerseys in the dryer . . . only 10 hours after my son said, "Whatever you do, Mom, DON'T throw these two jerseys in the dryer."
The other day I got a fortune that read, "If you are fortunate enough to live a long life, it will be a testament to your friends' self-control."
The other day my dad called to ask, "What do you do about vertigo?" which led me to drive to their house to find my mother retching like a walrus calling her lost pup and falling (to quote Beyoncé) "to the left, to the left". I thought she'd had a stroke, but thankfully, it was just a nasty inner ear infection.
The other day my dad called to ask if my son had hidden my mom's Halloween plates. No, no he hadn't. Admittedly though, it does SOUND like something he would do.
The other day my dad called to say my grandmother had fallen and broken her pelvis. It's her first hospital stay in 25 years.
The other day I was a slacker about drinking my 64+ ounces of water. Same day I got stuck on the interstate behind an accident scene for 4 hours. Four hours. In the van. With no place to pee. Sometimes it's good to be a slacker.
The other day I was a slacker about filling Eddie van Honda before the gauge dropped to "E" and I had no choice but to get gas. I got stuck waiting behind an older couple in their dress-up clothes giving their Buick Enclave a free full-body car wash at the gas pump with the windshield washer squeegees and blue paper towels.
The other day I woke up, got dressed and ready for the day, then decided I wanted more sleep and went back to bed. It was like having sleep dessert. Only without hot fudge.
The other day I went to the grocery, and because I'm SO forgetful these days, I made certain to note EXACTLY where I parked. When I came out, I went straight to the place I parked, only my van wasn't there. I walked down a few more spaces, crossed over to the next aisle, then back to the previous one. "I KNOW this is where I parked!" I kept telling myself, "I KNOW IT!"
It was where I parked, I just forgot I was driving someone else's car.
3 comments:
A woman who can laugh at herself and allow others in on the joke is a happy woman indeed. ( :
I love you!
Stephie... You are my favorite person ever.
I laughed out loud as I sat here reading this...and I already knew all this stuff. You must be funny. :)
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