what's in my ... purse?

Hi, and welcome to "What's in my..._____?"
(Episode 1 - The One with the Copper Purse.)

Why am I blogging this? Because I'm home on a Friday night, the laundry is done, I'm caught up on Words with Friends, I've stared blankly at Facebook for a half hour, and I can't go to bed because I have no hope of dozing off until the cowboy is in stage four of his sleep cycle and has stopped actively dreaming about rescuing the world from nuclear holocaust..

So here is my winter purse. It's the exact color of a 1980 penny, and although the straps are a bit too short for "throwing over my shoulder" it's a fine bag.

What's IN my purse?
An organizer
A make-up pouch
Kindle Fire, iPod and cell phone
Wallet, 2 checkbooks, receipts
Keys, hairbrush, fun spinny toy.

The cell phone, though scratched significantly, glows a lovely shade of purple and is all 'matchy-matchy' with the hairbrush.

The beaded, lime-green keychain (which is 'matchy-matchy' with the wallet), holds the key to Eddie van Honda, my house key, 2 work keys, and 2 keys from friends' houses so I can use their bathrooms and wifi at will. Just kidding. I would never do that. At least, not while they're home.

The colorful spinny toy is so I can entertain Mayah and Cohen and any other toddler who needs to think I'm the coolest person ever.

The receipts are from the day Sara and I drove to Nashville and stocked up our carts and coolers with healthy, organic groceries and then topped off our food shopping with dinner at Chipotle. And since we were also shopping for Jessica and the other Sara, our Whole Foods bill rivaled the daily accumulation of the national debt. Still, I now have organic sesame seeds and extra-virgin coconut oil, so I feel complete.

So...what's in my wallet? $67 (which is 67x more cash than normal), a "Love Live Grow Go" card from church, semi-dated pictures of my kids, a photo of Evarest - the child I sponsor in Tanzania, my driver's license with important numbers blurred out like a bad guy's face on Cops so you aren't tempted to steal my identity, cause, let's face it, who doesn't want to be me? And the following cards: debit, Visa, health insurance, blood donor, Sam's, Kroger and Panera. Oh, and tickets to the upcoming "Spamalot" at the Carson Center. :)

The make-up bag consists simply of 2 kleenex, NON-anti-bacterial hand sanitizer (would that make it bacterial sanitizer?), 2 lipglosses (one light, one dark), a granite eyeliner, Cover Girl's professional mascara in waterproof black because this is the ONLY mascara that is truly waterproof. Trust me on this. It is the product that allows me to blubber like a baby with grace and dignity. The last item is, of course, Pearberry lotion to be all 'matchy-matchy' with the smell of my hairspray.

Kacey gave me this organizer last Christmas so I could carry "bags" instead of "purses", but it ain't happenin' - I NEED compartments. Still, I use the organizer to house my most-used handbag items.

Three clicky pens - 2 black ink, one purple. Dentyne Blast CocoMint gum because I hate the taste of most chewing gum, but when I want to mask the smell of sushi on my breath, this tastes just like Andes mints and makes me happy. A Cover Girl Lipslick, color: Princess. Shut up, I don't want to hear it. It's the perfect shade of pink. A Physician's Formula compact powder (because Cover Girl foundation products smell like Noxema. Bleh.) A Bonnie Bell vanilla chapstick, as apparently I'm still 14. Two pairs of reading glasses in case I inadvertently leave one somewhere. Nail clippers and file because I bite my cuticles which make my nails break easily, and a pair of tweezers in case I get a splinter, not to pluck the little hair that appears under my chin out of nowhere and grows 3/4 of an inch in one day.

And there you have it. Stay tuned next time for "What's in my ... __________?" (Episode Two: The One with the Pockets.) Although I don't carry anything in my pockets. Unless, of course, I'm running into Huck's for coffee in which case I put $2 and my keys in my pocket so I don't have to carry my purse inside. But otherwise my pockets are always empty. Pocket fuzz maybe, something akin to bellybutton lint. That would be it. So, on second thought, don't stay tuned. T'will be too dull.