December 21, 2009

unmet expectations

Okay, you people know I like to make you laugh. I like to find the humor in life, at least to the best of my ability, because there is not much sense in wallowing in the "what if" and "poor me" stuff. Today, however, I just want to remind you that, while I hope and pray you are all having a wonderful holiday season, Christmas is not always "Merry" to those around you.

To this day it remains the worst Christmas of my life. My sophomore year of college, my sister's junior year of high school. The H.S. band went to Pasadena to march in the Rose Bowl parade. Mom & Dad, being the amazing and supportive parents they are, chaperoned this 300+ person, 6 charter bus trip . . . this trip which began on Christmas morning and continued until after the New Year. Meaning they LEFT at 4 a.m. on CHRSTMAS MORNING. They were gone for 9 days. Leaving me home alone. All alone. And that's not the bad part. This took place after a devastating break-up with the guy I was going to marry. I was still struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. Still struggling to breathe. So, basically, I spent 200 hours sleeping, crying and hoping for more. I mark that week as the loneliest time in my life.

A few years later, we experienced a very sad, very awkward Christmas as well. It was after my sister died, and we tried to "change things up", start new traditions, do things a bit differently . . . but the hole remained. Not that any loss is not tragic, it's just especially evident in small families. We mostly stared and sighed and felt sorry for ourselves and wondered if we would ever feel like celebrating anything ever again.

Okay, so this is NOT the blog you wanted to read today. They were not times in my life I cherish either. I just want to say that there are a lot of unmet expectations in the lives of the people you encounter day to day. Be alert. Be sensitive. And may you all be blessed with a very Merry Christmas.



ryanandlesli said...

I very much appreciate this post. We need to keep open minds & open hearts. Christmas can be the best time of the year. It can also so easily be the worst time of the year! Thanks for sharing & keeping our hearts open to everyone!

janjanmom said...

I can always use a reminder to be sensitive.

Love you!

Susan said...

The year Ashley came home from college and I had just had surgery, she had such a disappointing Christmas, The tree was white and wrong for our family, Someone else had decorated for me and got it wrong. She had so been looking forward to the Christmas she remembered and the newness of being away at school and coming home to change was not good. So Mom's keep it the same at least for those coming home, they want to come back to their safe place.

darlingjourney said...

Such a good reminder. I see a lot of people that hate Christmas because it too vividly reminds them of all the bad things in their life.

Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. :)

Kacey Leigh said...

Yep...I've had one of those Christmases. It stunk. I cried.

Thankfully, the bad haven't outweighed the good.

But I do think that for as much as some us enjoy Christmas, there are SO many people who don't have the ability to even have Christmas. I have some friends right now who can't even buy presents for their kids... So if anybody has a little extra money they want to put towards something, I'm thinking about splurging a little for these kids. Just let me know :)

Love you momma!

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