PipeBusters (episode 4) on the Reality Channel

(episode 4 is intended to be the finale of the series . . . don't read it first.)

After the drama of yesterday's 'Bad Hair Day' we wonder how much more they can take? How much more? As the day begins, Stephanie washes her hair in the sink with the pitcher of tepid water. However, water which seems tepid for brushing one's teeth feels like glacier water to the scalp, giving new meaning to the term "Brain Freeze" (cue Foreigner's "Cold As Ice"). The cold-water-washing allows for adequate blow-drying and ample hair volume, narrowly averting a tragic second Bad Hair Day.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Meanwhile, back at the chemical plant, the cowboy takes off early and heads to the chiropractor for his aching back. After that, a stop at Shop-a-Rama for the plumbing part. After that, it's back under the crawl space. Only this time, it's from the vent at the front of the house - which, although nearer the leak, is a MUCH smaller, much shallower vent - causing the cowboy crucial claustrophobic hesitation. He enters the darkness head-first, knowing the tight turnaround may totally prevent re-exit through the same vent. Once under, he calls for Stephanie. He needs her to go outside and make the counter-clockwise turn to discern the exact location of the leak. She searches her closet for the right pair of "going out to the meter" shoes and makes the 100-ft trek out to the yard. She turns it on. (cue "Twist & Shout") No sooner does she get it on than he wants her to turn it back off! Oh, the frustration and confusion! Then he wants her to wait. WAIT? Outside? She doesn't have on "waiting" shoes, she has on "going to the meter shoes". What to do? What. To. Do??? Lucky for Stephanie, the "GTTM" shoes also double as appropriate weed-pulling shoes, so she decides to take the shoes off and sit barefoot on the front porch and wait.

Under the house, the cowboy-turned-plumber is commenting - loudly - on how tight the vent was to crawl into, and how Stephanie may have to help him get back out. She comments that he is not to worry. She is certain that if his middle is too round to fit, and he has to remain wedged there for several days like Winnie-the-Pooh in Rabbit's hole, she will be certain to visit every day and sing "Rumbly in my Tumbly" to him. The thought of being wedged in the vent was not at all humorous to the cowboy - not at all - and he stated, in no uncertain terms, if he were to be "caught in a tight spot", she had better do all she can, including calling the National Guard to get him out. Several minutes, and few Disney songs later, the cowboy proclaims . . .

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The cowboy proclaims, 'TURN THE WATER ON!' and she does, and there is water, and it is good. (cue "Hallelujah Chorus") The cowboy begins the army crawl back to the vent. He tosses out the tools first then births himself from under the house - WILL HE MAKE IT? Head facedown, one shoulder, then the other, then the rest sliding out easily. Whew! That was close! But the job is completed. The leak has been stopped for now. At least the one under the house . . . the running toilet and dripping shower are a different story (cue "Shower the People" by James Taylor). Yes, the leaky shower faucet is a very different story. A lengthy story. A story appropriate for next season on PipeBusters on the Reality Channel.

Thanks for joining us.