the Tuesday ten

I never actually talk on my cell phone. I am not a phone person. I wish I could explain it - I love email, face-to-face conversation, and of course, texting. I only used 16 of my "anytime minutes" this entire last month. (And I'm fairly certain all of those were used placing take-out orders!) However, according to AT&T's records, I did send over 1000 text messages. Yeah, I know. Reeediculous. Sometimes when the cowboy's work schedule doesn't allow us a "girls' night", Sara and I will spend an entire night hanging out via texting. Can't seem to help myself - I think I may need a good therapist. As I scan through my phone, I'm reluctant to delete some of my texts. They serve as a journal of sorts, taking me back to conversations, events, and even jokes that I don't want to forget!

Ten Text Types

1. Teen text shortcuts - I frequently get the following words and phrases from some of my favorite teens, Emily S. and my niece Lindsay: Ure (you're), 2moro (tomorrow), j/k (just kidding), ILU (I love you), 4get, CU L8er, and my favorite: "I lol so hard, I have TIME" (I Laughed Out Loud so hard, I have Tears In My Eyes.)

I spell everything in the the Queen's English and include all forms of appropriate punctuation and capitalization = I am a nerd.

2. Prescriptive text faux pas - Sara texted about her "fish wager" not working. FISH WAGER? Turns out, "fish wager" should actually have been "dishwasher".

3. Traveling texts (or, what happens when you text one-handed and don't proofread) - From me to Mike: “. . . one more big push tonight and get the numour kidneys.” I have no idea what I was trying to say. Neither did he. His response: "Oh really? Well spurlot hashbrowns en tu coconut!"

4. Texts taken out of context - "We are drooling waiting for you." (That could mean so many fun things. . . just turns out I was late meeting Mike & Sara for sushi and they REALLY like sushi!)

5. Texts from two people sharing the same brain waves - Kacey on the return drive from New Orleans: "Alabama! I broke my toe!" To which I responded - "Oklahoma! I ate fried rice!" I think you had to be there for that one.

6. Texts with dangling participles - From Mike at Winterfest: ". . . can you get me a bag or something when you go down to the lobby for my wet clothes?" I didn't go to the lobby for his wet clothes. I was never planning to go to the lobby for his wet clothes. Had I gone to the lobby, I don't believe I would have discovered his wet clothes.

7. Blank texts - I send a LOT of them. Apparently, I have a difficult time distinguishing the "send" button from the "back" button on my pretty little red Nokia phone. I have the same problem telling my left hand from my right. I like to think it's a genius flaw. :o)

8. Wrongly directed texts - from Mike to me: "I'm thinking I want to come home". While he's welcome in my home anytime, I'm pretty sure that text was meant for Sara!

9. Fewer words are better texts - From Sara: "It's Monday!" Translation: Are you aware that today is Monday? This means we are going out to lunch together as usual, right? Does 11:45 work for you? Are you in the mood for chinese, mexican, J's, or maybe just pizza? Do you want to meet me there? Are we bringing "the boys" along with us or is it just going to be us girls? "It's Monday" implies it all!

10. Less personal texts - "Bless you" (from me to Mike upon hearing him sneeze through our conjoined office wall.) His response: "We are going to have less and less human contact, aren't we?"

Of course - isn't that the point to texting - so we don't have to actually talk?